Facing mortality

It's not often I really consider 'this could be the end' outside of being on airplanes. That is until I was racing down 12 flights of stairs, barefoot, in the hopes that my building wasn't going to crash down around me before I could get out.

There's a lot of joking about the over reaction to the earthquakes today. And yes, in the grand scheme of things it wasn't so bad. But in the course of living it...you don't know that.

When the rumbles first started, I assumed it was construction on the floor above me. As the rumbling continued and became more pronounced, I thought bomb.

In Dream State, bombs are a very real possibility. In fact, since I've been here I've had my building evacuated to clear for a bomb across the street. That too was a day I considered what would happen if I didn't get home.

But as the rumbling continued and the shaking became more pronounced - I stepped into the hall way, making eye contact with someone who works across from me, both of us wondering if we were feeling what we were feeling. As our eyes met we both decided we were getting the hell out of there.

Grabbing purses and removing heels, we raced down the flights. At the 6th floor, I couldn't believe we were only at 6. As we continued down, my legs started getting weak just from the fast pace and heavy impact of being barefoot.

Outside, we saw all the buildings around us had also evacuated. I suppose it gave me some solace I wasn't over reacting.

But, with after shocks a very real possibility - who knows what to do next? I certainly had no plan to be on the 12 floor. I also realized there was no way I was metro-ing home. Um, I've been to Universal Studios on the Earthquake ride. I know how that plays out. With a city of people evacuating, I wasn't going to bother looking for a cab. Too far to walk home (never mind my apartment building also evacuated and were not allowing residents to enter - so there was no point in trying to get home).

Add to this heat...and ugh. So I did the next best thing. I walked to a restaurant, had a few drinks and some happy hour apps, and headed home a good 5 hours later.

Walking back to my apartment I noticed other buildings with signs stating "Enter at own risk".

All of this made me consider the possibility I could die much earlier than in my twilight years. It could be tomorrow as easily as it could be 40 years from tomorrow. I was reminded today, I need to update my beneficiary to PC. Having share debt, even if only an apartment and utilities, I know neither of us could afford to continue here if one of us was no longer here. Previously, I'd had my sister as my beneficiary. At the time it made sense. I liked thinking it might be a windfall for her where ever she was in life. But today, I realized I have a sense of responsibility for the good of my partner and the life we've chosen to lead.