would have been better than bad luck.
He didn't get the job. Ambiguity extends out into the indefinite forever. Pity party of my own ensued. Tears on the metro home. Entire pizza consumed. Only a large glass of wine drunk.
But to add to it all? Apparently there was an oil rig accident where we're going for our anniversary. It may or may not be ok for us to go. Guess who was too cheap to buy trip insurance?
(me)
Monday, September 13, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Crashing
I awoke at ungodly hour this morning with my dream fresh in my mind, it having weirdly played as if on repeat for the second time. A dream in which the world was coming to an end with the ground literally falling down around us and meteors crashing into buildings. I was torn between accepting the inevitable and creating the lists of things that needed saving. I managed to even feel guilty for things like forgetting the pets, not having backed up pictures...
Wow!
Talk about my mind playing out my feelings huh? Still drowsy but trying to get the dream from replaying yet again, I googled the meaning of the world coming to an end in the dream dictionary.
Apparently, not suprisingly, it represents a feeling of being overwhelmed and a complete lack of control.
Yup think that sums it up. But I gotta say the lack of restful sleep isn't helping anything, so I'd respectfully ask that my brain stick to sharing only new news.
Wow!
Talk about my mind playing out my feelings huh? Still drowsy but trying to get the dream from replaying yet again, I googled the meaning of the world coming to an end in the dream dictionary.
Apparently, not suprisingly, it represents a feeling of being overwhelmed and a complete lack of control.
Yup think that sums it up. But I gotta say the lack of restful sleep isn't helping anything, so I'd respectfully ask that my brain stick to sharing only new news.
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Saturday, September 11, 2010
Views of dream state
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Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Thinking not required
Mission be-a-rockstar-long-enough-to-create-reputation-so-as-to-slack-for-the-rest-of-my-career is freaking exhausting.
Showing up to work on time.
Turning work in before I'm even asked for it.
Accepting feedback that is unrequested with grace
Redoing work that is brilliant to make it less brilliant without complaint.
Just to name a few things I've been doing for the last few days.
Spent the day in hours and hours of meetings hearing about all the problems within the organization (because it is my job) was also exhausting but in a sick way extremely exciting.
Yay, job security!
I will say, however, one thing I hate the most in a job is fake authority and autonomy. There is little worse than being asked to do something, given full latitude to do it however I see fit...and then after turning in the resultant masterpiece, being told directly how to do it based on what was obviously a clear picture of how it should be done prior to assignment.
Here's the thing, I don't mind doing mindless work. You have a vision, I will carry it out...but please don't make me think when I don't have to. I have facebook statuses that I could be using that mental energy to comment on.
Interestingly, this situation seems reflected throughout the organization based on what I heard today.
Extra yay.
Showing up to work on time.
Turning work in before I'm even asked for it.
Accepting feedback that is unrequested with grace
Redoing work that is brilliant to make it less brilliant without complaint.
Just to name a few things I've been doing for the last few days.
Spent the day in hours and hours of meetings hearing about all the problems within the organization (because it is my job) was also exhausting but in a sick way extremely exciting.
Yay, job security!
I will say, however, one thing I hate the most in a job is fake authority and autonomy. There is little worse than being asked to do something, given full latitude to do it however I see fit...and then after turning in the resultant masterpiece, being told directly how to do it based on what was obviously a clear picture of how it should be done prior to assignment.
Here's the thing, I don't mind doing mindless work. You have a vision, I will carry it out...but please don't make me think when I don't have to. I have facebook statuses that I could be using that mental energy to comment on.
Interestingly, this situation seems reflected throughout the organization based on what I heard today.
Extra yay.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Missing my rock
I seem to be floating on a river of highs and lows as I explore this new job and new city. I am both completely in love with the newness of it all - being a city girl, being on my own even if only temporarily, meeting new people, going to new places....and completely overwhelmed by the newness.
Case in point.
Went to a huge market and fish market this weekend. Required using metros I've not yet used, walking on streets not yet traveled...and resulted in my seeing shrimp that were as big as my hand. Seriously. Look at the palm of your hand. That big.
I've been around when it comes to seafood, and this was a shock that such a thing exists. A thing which I can buy and eat in my very own home.
Also went out with a bunch of girls - yes, strangers through meetup.com - and found a fantastic tapas place and a cool Irish bar with live music. I am infatuated by the fact that I pretty much will never have to worry about drinking and driving so long as I live in this city. Drink + metro = safety (- number of homeless people who are less drunk than you).
But the truth is, one can only handle so much newness before they crave what is known and comfortable.
And, when I found myself lost with only 20 minutes to return a zipcar without a late fee of $50 (which would probably KILL me to have to pay) and a phone GPS that kept changing her fucking mind about where I should turn and adding another 5 minutes to my return time...I nearly lost it.
Not the car, my sanity.
I ultimately made it, but I can tell you that 'by the skin of your teeth' isn't fun. At all.
I know that it is out of his control that he's not here, and I know that I have a flight booked to return home next week for our 2 year anniversary vacation...but I miss my rock. I miss what is comfortable. And it is hard not to wish I was home. Especially knowing how much work it was to make Dream State my home. I am mad that I am having to go through this adjustment alone.
Case in point.
Went to a huge market and fish market this weekend. Required using metros I've not yet used, walking on streets not yet traveled...and resulted in my seeing shrimp that were as big as my hand. Seriously. Look at the palm of your hand. That big.
I've been around when it comes to seafood, and this was a shock that such a thing exists. A thing which I can buy and eat in my very own home.
Also went out with a bunch of girls - yes, strangers through meetup.com - and found a fantastic tapas place and a cool Irish bar with live music. I am infatuated by the fact that I pretty much will never have to worry about drinking and driving so long as I live in this city. Drink + metro = safety (- number of homeless people who are less drunk than you).
But the truth is, one can only handle so much newness before they crave what is known and comfortable.
And, when I found myself lost with only 20 minutes to return a zipcar without a late fee of $50 (which would probably KILL me to have to pay) and a phone GPS that kept changing her fucking mind about where I should turn and adding another 5 minutes to my return time...I nearly lost it.
Not the car, my sanity.
I ultimately made it, but I can tell you that 'by the skin of your teeth' isn't fun. At all.
I know that it is out of his control that he's not here, and I know that I have a flight booked to return home next week for our 2 year anniversary vacation...but I miss my rock. I miss what is comfortable. And it is hard not to wish I was home. Especially knowing how much work it was to make Dream State my home. I am mad that I am having to go through this adjustment alone.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Got that guilty feeling
Despite being in Dream State, I'm going to go ahead and complain. The pressure to go out and see things is freaking overwhelming me.
If I were in Florida right now, I'd have gone for a run, had some breakfast, cleaned something, and begun harassing PC to wake up.
In Dream State this morning, I went for a run (which was amazing views and the hills are going to do wonders on my glutes), took the long way home to look at the outsides of some apartments nearby, had breakfast, went to a nearby deli for coffee to look at my apartment guide, and returned home for lunch.
Although I've accomplished the same amount, if not more today, I feel horribly guilty that I'm a little to tired to get on a metro to go visit an outdoor market like I'd planned. Especially because I'm supposed to have dinner plans to meetup with a women's group this evening. Seems like I should conserve energy to be social with strangers tonight.
Tomorrow I may be meeting up with a friend of PC's family who's in town for a conference so I may be forced to 'site see'.
It's just that, with all the excitement of moving up to Dream State cause there's so much to do...you'd think I'd be DOING more.
If I were in Florida right now, I'd have gone for a run, had some breakfast, cleaned something, and begun harassing PC to wake up.
In Dream State this morning, I went for a run (which was amazing views and the hills are going to do wonders on my glutes), took the long way home to look at the outsides of some apartments nearby, had breakfast, went to a nearby deli for coffee to look at my apartment guide, and returned home for lunch.
Although I've accomplished the same amount, if not more today, I feel horribly guilty that I'm a little to tired to get on a metro to go visit an outdoor market like I'd planned. Especially because I'm supposed to have dinner plans to meetup with a women's group this evening. Seems like I should conserve energy to be social with strangers tonight.
Tomorrow I may be meeting up with a friend of PC's family who's in town for a conference so I may be forced to 'site see'.
It's just that, with all the excitement of moving up to Dream State cause there's so much to do...you'd think I'd be DOING more.
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