"Favors"

One of the things about Dream State, for better or worse, is that networking is a part of everyday life. It can work for or against you in a way that I don't think I have ever heard of in any other state.

For instance, I went to dinner last week with a random group only to discover one of the ladies at the dinner was not only from my prior local area but was heading up networking events for PC's area of interest. Even better was that the next event is occurring when he's in town and in a pub that connected to our new apartment.

Um, hello, we're totally attending.

Similarly, I attend a number of events hosted by my local alumni chapter...only to discover one of the men there also happens to work at the company PC recently interviewed for. I got the scoop from the guy, as well as his business card...and should PC get the job, he's got a ready-made tour guide to introduce him around the company.

In sum. I'm pretty good at networking. And, not just for PC.

That being said, and I realize this may sound cocky, I found it obnoxious that an event I wanted to attend involving one of my favorite hobbies (mixology) that I was required to 'friend' the random host on FB.

Now, my philosophy on FB is kind of moderate. I don't just friend anyone, but I'm not super stringent either. However, I'm conscious of the idea that by friending someone, they're going to know my nearly everyday goings-on and have access to my pictures.* What bothered me was that this was someone I had never met and it was a seeming requirement to attend the event.**

Initially I took the passive approach. I replied yes, but commented that perhaps I didn't understand but were we really having to friend the host. She said yes.

Then I took the dumb approach, and said I wasn't really sure how to friend her. In truth, I don't know that there was enough info about her to find her and I actually have a hard time finding people even when I know all their details. Either way, I was looking for her to give me a pass. She replied with her full name and sadly I was able to find her.

Finally, I took the direct approach. I told her I didn't friend people I didn't know. Perhaps I could attend an event in the future that didn't require 'friending'. Her reply was that I could still attend, she was just trying to network me in with up-in-coming blah, blah, blah person in the mixology world.

Three thoughts:

1. Anyone networking through someone who isn't actually a known tie is actually useless. She can't vouch for me as a good tie. I can't trust that those who she's trying to tie to me are of any value to me either. Yes, that's actually research based.
2. I don't know that I want to be networked in with local mixologists. Maybe I do, but it's not a conscious decision on my part. When I do decide, then I will actively seek those connections.
3. I do just fine networking on my own, thank.you.very.much. Don't do me any favors.

*I do think through anything posted just in case I somehow accidentally friend a future employer so as not to incriminate myself in anyway.
**The event was through my goto social life maker (meetup.com) so I know that it's not normal to have to rsvp outside of the system.