There may be no tears in baseball

There may be no crying in baseball, but I have it on good authority that most of the bravest explorers secretly cried. Because going new places can be scary. In fact, when I suggested that maybe Christopher Columbus might have cried once he left port even though he was probably really excited to reach India (or wherever he was going, history isn't my strong suit...or geography while we're on the topic), PC agreed.

So, though I'd been really solid for the days leading up to my leaving...the day before I'd intermittently break into tears over a FB post, or a song on the radio (It's a Wild World by Cat Stevens, if you want to know). Or, when I came into the office to find my cubicle decorated.

Oh, such a different experience of leaving this job than when I left my grad school job and was harassed by Advisor. Or, when I was layed off from my last job and given mere hours to empty my desk, threatened to be sued if I contacted clients to tell them we'd closed, and told I'd be held to a non-compete for a company that allegedly was closed.

I digress.

Tears over friends telling me how much I meant to them and what an influence I had in their lives. And, friends who wished me genuine good luck in my new position and repeatedly told I'd rock the socks of the new employer. Or, my boss who was near tears with happiness for my new job and my leaving.

More tears, when after a strong morning of finishing up packing and getting us to the airport and having lunch, I could see the security lines and knew I'd be without PC for several weeks (I'm returning to go on our 2 year anniversary trip). Heartbreaking, wrenching tears.

I have to admit, I wondered if crying through security made me more or less suspicious looking.

Once arriving to my new home for the next two months (temporary housing until PC gets a new job and moves up), I sized up the place.

The building is clearly old. I've never lived in a highrise before. I don't fully understand the whole building-controlled airconditioning (and the constant hiss that sounds like I might be being gassed). The new place is small, but adequate for me. The bed is much like a rock. It's in the city so everything is walkable - and is why I didn't bring my car (I'm trying out public transportation to see if I can do it, and save money on ridiculous costs for parking). The view from my window are some of the main sights in the city.

And yet, when I called PC to let him know I arrived...I cried some more. I don't want to embark on this adventure without him. I'm scared that I made this huge move. I'm scared of the perminancy of it all.

And yet...it's probably the coolest thing I've ever done.