Did you hear that?

This week I had an opportunity to take the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. I can't tell you how thrilled I was to get picked to get to attend for work. Granted there's a large chance I won't ever have a chance to use it with them...but...well, I've got nothing...it does in fact suck for them and their resources.

Anyway, one of the skills I'm practicing is this empathetic listening. I gotta admit. Empathy isn't a strong point of mine. I'm very guy like in the sense that I hear the problem, listen, and then move into fix it mode. In fact, I often find it hard to be listened to empathetically because I don't want someone to 'hear that I'm frustrated', I want to hear what the solution is.

This approach hasn't worked well with PC and his job troubles - to the point he often won't discuss work with me because he knows it will lead to me asking what he plans to fix it, accept it, or find a way out. Which to me is the most logical set of responses.

Basically, the skill is about listening and reflecting back the emotion that you hear in an effort to let the person feel heard and understood. I've been using it for the last few days with some limited success. The hardest things for me are to 1) not move into solutions and 2) not give examples of similar experiences unless asked.

I'm finding it even harder as I watch the person I love engage in behaviors that scream "BURNOUT!!" and not be able to help him prioritize. When I watch him perform tasks that are important to others but that do not align to what is important to him or us it is frustrating. I want to share with him the skills and lessons I've learned in the last week...but instead I sit and try very hard to empathetically listen.