Quandry

Perhaps I spoke too soon.

He's had time to ruminate a bit...and well, frankly the offer is pretty low. By low, I mean still pretty good but lower than what he made in his last position and not accounting for the increase of cost of living associated with moving to Dream State (20% is the common assumption). And, the position is about an hour of commuting each way. And, the benefits aren't as good as he'd hoped...

So it's a quandary. Take a job that objectively you'd love (or at least like a lot), but that you feel like you're being screwed based on the pay, benefits, and commute...

Sadly, based on the literature, this is a recipe for disaster.

PC is debating the pros and cons of negotiating a higher rate (worrying that it will sour their relationship before he even walks in the door), accepting it but knowing this will set his income trajectory in Dream State and possibly the rest of his career and has already soured HIS relationship with them before he walks in the door, and knowing that he has no other offers on the table so he's got no fall back plan if he doesn't take the job. 

I know that I don't know what to recommend. I see all those same pros and cons...all of which have consequences...and I don't know what I'd pick either.

Good news!

So, first and foremost, PC got a j.o.b! It was nice to see him come home from his interview lit up with the excitement of working for this company. Especially knowing that he'll be back to working on a team of people instead of so independently (read: kinda lonely). On the less positive note, it's a hell of a commute and they're totally low-balling him from a pay perspective. Unlike me, he's very unlikely to counteroffer even though he has the EXACT skill set they need to round out their business.

Second, I went shopping. To avoid any real issues around potential fluffiness on my part (even though the scale continues to say I'm below my usual weight but I don't believe it because I'm not working out, not eating overly well, and have been drinking like a fish) I bought a hell-a-lota shoes.

You're welcome DSW.

Willing to eat anything that has cheese, grease, or liquor in it

I think I have SAD. I can objectively say nothing went terribly wrong today, but I'm pretty much ready to lay around, eat anything that has cheese grease Chinese and or liquor in it, and be grouchy. Here's just a few of the things going on in my head this evening in no particular order.

• HR person was kind of unnecessarily bitchy to me. I was there to fill out paperwork for something I'm already a little uncomfortable with, and she made it worse. I may sit on the paper work for a while. Sitting on it will only hurt me in the long run but I don't want to see HR person to re-turn it in for at least a week.
• My main project for the next month got postponed due to politics. Relatedly, my pay may also be delayed due to politics.
• As a result of my main project being delayed, I have to return to the project I thought I was done with (and have been focusing on non-stop for months) - and frankly, I'm just burnt out on it.
• People who have no sense of obligation to meet their basic job requirements that screw my shit up seem to surround me
• I haven't been working out and no badgering, begging, deciding, or bribing seems to be working to get me back in the gym. I feel guilty and I'm not nice to me about being a lazy ass. Kinda a double whammy.
• I'm tired of  having to put a damn jacket every time I want to go outside.
• I'm tired of having to make small talk with people in the elevator for 10 floors at 6am when I am only there to walk the dog - repeat at 11pm.
• Just want PC to have a job. I used to want him to have a job he liked, now I'd just like him to be employed. I think. Ok, maybe it's more that I'm just tired of him having to go through the job hunting part because we inevitably argue.
• I find that even though we can afford to live in a snobby place, that I'm actually out snobbed by those around me - and I'm tired of feeling not good enough when I pay an assload of money to live here. I'm equally annoyed with those that are too good to talk to me in the elevator as those that think we need to be best friends for 20 seconds at 6am.
• I want to go shopping. I haven't gone shopping because I feel fat but I'm not (weirdly maintaining low weight despite not working out) and I feel like I should not be extravagant when we're living on one salary but it doesn't seem fair to not be able to shop with my income...and so the circular thinking goes
• I'm eerily pale. I didn't even know this kind of pale existed. I don't know when I'll be able to wear shorts ever again with this damn cold. I dread future self's sun burn knowing that future future self is going to hate future self for the wrinkles and cancer.
• I get to start telecommuting next week because I hit my 6 month mark here. My boss is weary of the days I picked to telecommute because more than half the office is out that day too - why do I have to be there if no one else is and why do they get to pick that day but I have no say? Just because I am last? And, if some of them leave, do I get to move my day or does some random new person get that day?
• I'm tired of my boss being beat down by the system. Not only does it make me feel beat down, but I have no one to depend on to push back to senior management to get things done.
• No one in my organization actually cares about what I do. It's hard to keep getting so worked up about the horrors that I'm hear to solve when they're more interested in cutting the data a little different to make everything look ok.
• It's hard to have a career you're passionate about when you're considered a luxury (at best) or an annoying fly (at worst) in most organizations.
• I seem to be one of the few people that likes their job and believes that people have the best of intentions. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a fool.
• I feel like I'm falling behind professionally because I've not published anything and have no conference presentations in the works. Yet, I don't have the energy to do what is actually one of the most time consuming mind numbing activities in academic life - formatting for a submission. How ridiculous is it that I have an article ready to go for the last 6 months if only I'd change the format?
• My 6 month anniversary here at new job was pretty anti-climatic.